Thursday, January 25, 2007

Check out this page I found in eDiets News.

Check out this page I found in eDiets News. http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?&cmi=2424548

Fwd: Based on true story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



TruE sToRy...Dun MiSS iT...
Hi eVERYONE,

This is a true story of a young college girl who past away last month,
at shah alam.. her name is Priya.she was hit by a lorry. i dont wanna
mention the name of the college. She have a boy friend named Shankar.
He
stays in johor.

Both of them are true lovers. they always hang on the phone. u can
never
see her without her handphone. She spends 3/4 of the day talking with
shankar. both of them used DiGi.
Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close
with
Priya's family. (just imagine their love)
Before she passed away she always told her frens "If I pass away please
burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, ppl cant carry her coffin. i was there. a lot of them
tried to do so but still cant. everybody including me, had tried to
carry
the coffin, the result is still the same.

Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "bomoh" from thailand (pak
Darin), who is a fren of her father. he took a sit and started speaking
to
himself slowly. after a few minutes, he said "this gurl misses
something
here". then her frens told Darin bout her intentions to burn her with
her
phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone and SIM card
inside
the casket. after that they tried to carry the coffin. it could be
moved
and they carried it into the van easily. all of us were shocked. (can u
feel the fear. i'm shaking at this moment) Priya's parents didnt inform
Shankar that Priya had passed away. (pity Shankar).

after 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.
Shankar :...."Atte, I'm coming home 2day. cook something nice for me.
dont
tell Priya that i'm coming home 2day. i wanna suprise her." her mother
replied....."u come home first, i wanna tell u something very
important."
after he came to shah alam, they told him the truth about Priya.Shankar
thinks that they were playing a fool. he was laughing and said "dont
try
to fool me. tell Priya to come out. i have a gift for her. pls stop
this
nonsense".
then they show him the original death certificate to him. they gave him
proof to make him believe.(Shankar started to sweat) he said... "its
not
true. we were spoke yesterday. she still calls me. Shankar was shaking.

suddenly, shnakar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya. see this..."
he
showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer.he
talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them heard his conversation
loud
and clear. no cross lines, no humming. it is the actual voice of Priya
&
there is no way others could use her simcard since it is nailed inside
the
coffin the were so shocked and asked for pak darin's help again. pak
darin
brought his master (Tok Chen) to solve this matter.

he & Darin worked for 5 hours. than they discovered one thing... tok
Chen
was sweating. his face was red . "i just cant believe this. it's quite
amazing" he said. " i didn't think that this could actually happen.
unbelievable Oh My God! DiGi is the best line,ever. we can still keep
in
touch even when we're dead!! Talk about coverage!!! Best coverage
ever!!!
where can i get the SIMpack?

Moral of the story.........DiGi is the best lar ..........
Ok, get back to work....

muahahahahahahaha

Regards!!!!!!!

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Fwd: FW: lawak bodoh

PANDAINYEE DIA BERNIAGA

Pak Pandir yang menjual petai di tepi jalan berkata kepada seorang
lelaki yang bercadang membeli petai itu ...
"Encik satu longok, RM1 sahaja.Tapi, kalau encik ambil semua, kira
murah...RM20 sahaja."

Tanya lelaki berkenaan : "Berapa longok semuanya?"

Jawab Pak Pandir : "Semuanya 20 longgok ..."


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CUTI

Pak Pandir yang bekerja di sebuah kilang sebagai pengawal keselamatan
berjumpa dengan manager minta cuti ...
"Tuan saya mahu minta cuti seminggu balik kampung, ada urusan
keluarga. Bolehkah?

Jawab manager : "Cuti seminggu ...oklah, saya bagi cuti seminggu.

Selepas 14 hari, baru Pak Pandir balik bertugas.

Tanya si manager : "Kenapa dua minggu cuti?"

Jawab Pak Pandir : "Saya minta seminggu cuti. Tuan bagi seminggu
Jadi dua minggulah ...

PART I

Che'gu Berahim sedang mengendali kelasnya dalam aktiviti sukan di
padang sekolah. Seperti biasa, Che'gu Berahim akan menyuruh murid²nya
melakukan regangan otot. Tiba di satu bahagian, dimana murid² baring dan
mengangkat kaki lalu menggerakkannya seperti sedang mengayuh basikal.
Che'gu Berahim asyik memerhati seorang muridnya yang pada mulanya
menggerakkan kakinya tiba² memberhentikan kakinya. Lalu Che'gu Berahim
menyergah muridnya yang bernama Man Dol. "Woiiii Man, apa sebab kau berhenti ni
hah". "Oh Che'gu Berahim, basikal saya tengah turun bukit Che'gu, sebab
tu saya berhenti.Takkan nak kayuh jugak.


PART II
Waktu sekolah telah tamat.sebelum keluar kelas, Che'gu Berahim telah
bertanya kpd murid²nya.

Che'gu : Siapa nak masuk/pergi syurga?
Semua murid mengangkat tangan kecuali Man Dol lalu Che'gu Berahim pun
bertanya,
Che'gu : Man, kenapa awak tak nak pergi/masuk syurga?
Man : Mak saya kata lepas habis sekolah, terus balik rumah.. jangan
pergi mana-mana.


PART III
Che'gu Berahim sedang mengajar Bahasa Melayu dalam kelas 1 Mawar...
Che'gu : Man, boleh kamu buat ayat dengan menggunakan perkataan
tepong?
Man : Itu senang saja cikgu.. ayatnya ialah.... emak sedang membuat
kek didapur.
Che'gu : Mana tepungnya??
Man : Tepong kan ke dalam kek tu.... Che'gu nie tak sekolah ke hape??

PART IV

Seperti biasa, Che'gu Berahim nie mengajar pelajar di Sekolah
Agama.Che'gu Berahim mengajar budak tahun satuPada hari tersebut, beliau
mengajar bab"cara berwudhuk"Selepas mengajar, beliau (Che'gu) selalu meminta muridnya bertanyakan soalan jika terdapat kemusykilan.

Che'gu : Ada sesiapa hendak bertanyakan soalan?
Tiba² seorang anak muridnye mengangkat tangan, nama murid tu adalah
Man Dol
Man : Ada Che'gu. saya ada satu kemusykilan. Boleh tak kita ambil
wudhuk dua kali?
Che'gu : Boleh, tapi kenapa sampai dua kali ambil wudhuk?
Man : Saya ambil dua kali sebab kalau saya terkentut, wudhuk lagi
satu tu boleh buat spare part!
Che'gu : Allahhuakbarr!!!


PART V

Che'gu Berahim: Joe, cuba terangkan apakah tugas akar pokok pisang?
Joe : Untuk mencari makanan, che'gu
Che'gu Berahim: Bagus! Sekarang giliran Wati pulak. Apakah tugas
batang pokok pisang?>
Wati : Untuk membawa makanan yang dicari akarnya, che'gu
Che'gu Berahim: Bagus! Sekarang giliran Man Dol pula. Apakah tugas
daun pisang?
Man Dol :untuk membungkus nasi lemak, che'gu...
Che'gu Berahim: uii... lagi bagus... berdiri atas meja sampai abis
kelas.

POSMEN
Seorang posmen yang datang menghantar surat.

"Assalamualaikum "
" Walaikumsalam "
" Ni rumah encik encik Sameon ye?
" Ya saya"
" Poning kepala saya mencari alamat rumah encik ni "

" Buat susah aje encik nie! Apsal tak pos aje!"


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PEMAKANAN YG SIHAT


Salim sering mengeluh sakit kepala dan dada. Doktor menganjurkan agar
dia berhenti merokok dan minum minuman keras. Selain itu harus berhenti
makan daging kambing, daging kesukaan Salim.

Doktor : "Jangan lupa daging kambing. Anda hanya boleh makan
sayur-sayuran dan daging haiwan yang boleh berenang dan terbang"

Setelah tiga hari berlalu sang Doktor menalifon Salim mengingatkan
Salim agar makan hanya daging yang boleh berenang dan terbang sahaja.
Tiga bulan kemudian Doktor mengunjungi kerumah Salim untuk melihat
perkembangannya. Dia diberitahu oleh orang gajinya Salim ada di kolam renang.

Mendengar itu sang Doktor merasa tenang, menyangka Salim bukan hanya
mengikuti arahannya, tetapi juga mahu berolahraga untuk meningkatkan
kesihatan tubuhnya. Sang Doktor langsung bergegas menuju ke kolam renang
dimana Salim berada. Namun apa yang dilihatnya di kolam renang?
"Salim berada di dalam air melatih kambing berenang"


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MANE BENDE YG FREE TU??

Bila suami balik kerja, isterinya suruh ke pasaraya untuk membeli
barang-barang dapur. Jadi pergilah si suami membeli semua barang-
barang yang dipesan.

Bila pulang ke rumah, isterinya mengambil beg-beg plastik dan
membawa keluar semua barang untuk disimpan. Isteri terjumpalah satu
tin marjerin. Di luar tin tu ada tulis ... FREE...
Isteri tanya si suami, mana benda yang 'FREE' ini? Kenapa tak ambil?
Suami katalah lupa hendak meminta benda itu tadi. Maka isterinya pun
menyuruh suami pergi semula ke pasaraya tersebut untuk menebus
benda 'FREE' itu.

Suami pun pergilah membawa tin planta tadi jumpa jurujual untuk
menebus benda 'FREE' yang tertulis. Bertengkarlah suami tadi dengan
jurujual terbabit. Jurujual itu kata benda 'FREE' itu ada dalam tin.
Suami kata mana boleh, dalam mesti tak ada punya.Dia terus meminta
dari jurujual.

Penyelia yang kebetulan lalu di situ dan terdengar pertengkaran
mereka. Apabila ditanya, dia pula dimarahi oleh si suami tadi. Si
suami berkenaan minta juga benda 'FREE' dari penyelia itu. Suami tadi
tunjuk tin planta yang ada bertulis 'FREE' itu. Supervisor tadi belek
kanan belek kiri tin planta tersebut. Dia membaca tulisan berbahasa
Inggeris itu ..CHOLESTEROL FREE...!!! :)


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SLIMMING TEA

Seorang pemuda yang akan berkahwin telah berjumpa seorang bomoh yang
juga seorang pakar dalam masalah tenaga batin untuk mendapatkan sedikit
petua.
Pemuda : "Tok, saya akan berkahwin tidak lama lagi tetapi saya masih
belum bersedia.Bagilah petua untuk saya menghadapi malam pertama
nanti."
Bomoh : "Malam pertama merupakan malam yang sangat penting bagi
lelaki.Kamu seharusnya dapat memberi kepuasan yang tidak dapat dilupakan
oleh isteri kamu nanti."
Pemuda : "Bagaimanakah caranya tok bomoh."
Bomoh : "Begini,kamu seharusnya membesarkan alat kelaminmu dan ini
akan membuatkan isterimu menjerit pada malam pertamanya."
Pemuda : "Bagaimana caranya tok ?"
Bomoh : "Kamu mesti merendam alat kelaminmu setiap malam dalam air
teh setiap malam sehinggalah malam pertamamu."
Pemuda tersebut balik ke rumah dan melakukan apa yang dikata oleh tok
bomoh pada setiap malam.>
Pada malam pertamanya,tok bomoh juga berada dirumahnya.Tiba-tiba
kedengaran isteri pemuda itu menjerit kuat.Tok bomoh mula terfikir akan
kehebatan petua yang diberikannya kepada pemuda tersebut.Tiba-tiba pemuda
tersebut keluar dari biliknya dengan wajah yang sedih.Tok bomoh hairan
lalu bertanya kepada pemuda tersebut.
Bomoh : "Kenapa cepat sangat..?"
Pemuda : "Saya punya memang panjang tok tapi kenapa hanya sebesar
pensil saja...?"
Bomoh : "Adakah kamu ikut petua yang tok ajarkan...?"
Pemuda : "Sudah tok.Tiap-tiap malam saya merendam saya punya dalam
segelas air teh."
Bomoh : "Teh apa yang kamu gunakan ?"
Pemuda : "Mustika Ratu - Slimming Tea tok..."
Bomoh : ?!?!?!?!?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SAKIT JIWA

Seorang lelaki sakit mental menganggap dirinya adalah jagung dan
terlalu takut dengan ayam. Jika ternampak haiwan itu, dia akan lari lintang
pukang kerana menyangka ayam akan memakannya. Akhirnya, lelaki itu
dimasukkan ke rumah sakit jiwa. Setelah beberapa bulan, doktor pun
melakukan ujian ke atas lelaki itu bagi mengenal pasti apakah dia telah pulih
ataupun tidak.

Doktor : Adakah kamu tahu siapa diri kamu sekarang?
Lelaki : Ya doktor.
Doktor : Siapa kamu sebenarnya.
Lelaki : Saya ini manusia doktor.
Doktor : Ya ke? Bukan jagung?
Lelaki : Bukan, saya manusia doktor.
Doktor : Kamu takut dengan ayam?
Lelaki : Tidak doktor.
Doktor : Hmm..bagus. Nampaknya kamu dah sembuh.
Lelaki : Tapi doktor, saya ada satu pertanyaan.
Doktor : Apa dia?
Lelaki : Ayam tahu tak yang saya ni dah berubah jadi manusia.
Doktor : "??$$??"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BAS NAK KE NERAKA

Suatu malam seorang lelaki yang sedang mabuk naik bas dan duduk di
sebelahnya seorang nenek.

Si nenak memandangnya dari atas ke bawah, lalu berkata, "Kamu tahu
tak, kamu akan ke neraka!"
Lelaki mabuk itu melompat terperanjat dan berteriak, "Berhenti!.
Salah naik bas."





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Friday, January 19, 2007

Fwd: Fw: Handbags - for Health

Subject: Handbags - for Health!
HANDBAGS
Have you ever noticed gals who sit their handbags on public toilet floors
- then go directly to their dining tables and set it on the table?
Happens a lot! It's not always the'restaurant food' that causes stomach distress. Sometimes "what you don't know 'will' hurt you"!
Read on...
Mum got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always said that handbags are really dirty, because of where they have been.
Smart Mum!!!
It's something just about every woman carries with them. While we may know what's inside our handbags, do you have any idea what's on the outside?
Shauna Lake put handbags to the test - for bacteria - with surprising results. You may think twice about where you put your handbag.
Women carry handbags everywhere; from the office to public toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won't becaught without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your handbag goes during the day?
"I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the floor of the bus a lot," says one woman.
"On the floor of my car, and in toilets."
"I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts, on the floor of the toilet while changing a nappy," says another woman "and of course in my home which should be clean."
We decided to find out if handbags harbour a lot of bacteria. We learned how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt Lake, and then we set out to test the average woman's handbag.
Most women told us they didn't stop to think about what was on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they usually set their handbags on top of kitchen tables and counters where food is prepared.
Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't be surprised
if their handbags were at least a little bit dirty. It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty, even the microbiologist who tested them was shocked.
Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says nearly all of the handbags tested were not only high in bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria. Pseudomonas can cause eye infections, staphylococcus aurous can cause serious skin infections, and salmonella and e-coli found on the handbags could make people very sick.
In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive for salmonella, and that's not the worst of it. "There is fecal contamination on the handbags," says Amy. Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role.
People with kids tended to have dirtier handbags than those without, with one exception. The handbag of one single woman who frequented nightclubs had one of the worst contaminations of all. "Some type of feces, or possibly vomit" says Amy.
So the moral of this story - your handbag won't kill you, but it does have the potential to make you very sick if you keep it on places where you eat.
Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and don't put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your kitchen countertop.
Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way you would a pair of shoes. "If you think about putting a pair of shoes onto your countertops, that's the same thing you're doing when you put your handbag on the countertops" - your handbag has gone where individuals before you have sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated, emptied bowels, etc!
Do you really want to bring that home with you?
The microbiologists at Nelson also said cleaning a handbag will help.
Wash cloth handbags and use leather cleaner to clean the bottom of leather handbags.
THIS IS WORTH SHARING!!!
(Author unknown)

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Smile...


Smile... But smile with the sweetest smile you can give... It's not only a gift to someone...
But..a reflection what lies in your deepest soul..
Most of all, smile is nothing painful but the Healer of an aching heart...